The Real Isn't Ideal

by Robert Wolfe on March 26th, 2012

[The following is part of a correspondence between Robert and a friend with whom he has been corresponding.]

Friend: I don't think my view of the Bible, especially the New Testament, has ever changed as fast as it did during this last month. It's all beginning to seem idealistic to me....There is no God that has anything to do with what we "experience". It just is "what it is", and the IS not only has nothing to do with it; the IS doesn't even know about it....I've already seen enough of this "stuff". None of it matters, except what works for you. And I've been entertaining alot of stuff that has not worked for me....The problem with all of that "stuff" is that if it isn't working for you, and you have adopted it, then you will just keep blaming yourself for what you have no control over....I do what I need to do, though it is not always easy to determine what that is. The "anger" is almost a constant; and to believe that I shouldn't be, is completely idealistic and the harbinger of "guilt".

Robert: You have been pondering these matters for the years that we have corresponded. It's good to see that finally you are beginning to recognize the idealizing which has been so much of a fixture in your relationship to the world. Not only has it not worked for you, it does not work for anyone.
To maintain the presumption that "what is" should not be as it is, or could be other than what it is, is nothing more than a contentious idea: such is the meaning of "idealization."

How many of those people that you come in contact with are resisting "what is" by clinging to the idea that "it should not be"?

How many collectives of people--i.e., countries/governments--are basing their activities/policies on ideals that have no basis in reality (security through aggression or control, for example)?

That you are beginning to notice and question your own idealism ("he shouldn't be doing what he's, in fact, doing") is the proper place to focus this practical insight.

Whenever you establish standards of behavior for yourself--and others--there is going to be disappointment; and, as you noted, either guilt, blame or anger will generally ensue.

As Byron Katie says, "Whenever I argue with what is, I lose." No ideals or standards: nothing to lose.


Posted in Dialogue, Unpublished    Tagged with new testament, Bible, real, ideal, what is, reality, idealization, should be, idealism


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